Inspired Busy Writing Stuff

I wrote some fiction today with a specific aim, and great fun it was. It’s ages since I wrote fiction. I hope something comes of it. What else? Another collaborative idea. I started a song going, but I’m hoping someone else will finish it. It was a difficult riff, but it went down well on mp3. More about that in the future. I started a spoof blog about the environment. I must try to make my spoofs more friendly. I think they come across as a bit mean. The great spoof by J-Walk on the Nigerian Email Convention is a classic gag that stays light. Satire in itself can just look mean, especially the Britney and Hilton gags. I saw someone talking about a piece on Digg and they said, “This is a bit satirical but he knows his stuff”. They were talking about someone else, and the piece was hardly satirical. But it made me think, does anybody really like satire? At least I get a few Diggs for mine. I listened to Mike Bennett’s first new podcast, The Bonus Track. It’s good. Mike does the excellent One Among the Sleepless. I’m going to write a contribution for TBT. Bye for now. My, it’s late.

Lethargic Disinterested Demotivated

That’s how I feel returning to blogging and podcasting and spoofing and block deleting spam after a great week in the south-west. Dartmoor and Cornwall were fabulous. It was like June. I can’t remember a better spring. But now I’m back, and cranking this blog machinery back to life.

I had a great reply from my Creative Writing teacher about Cho Seung-Hui. She told me to look at the writing of Blake Morrison who made similar (better put) comments about Cho’s oddly dramatic plays in The Guardian.

Caroline had a small review of the Dartmoor Inn Lydford published in, guess where? The Guardian on Saturday 28th. She sent it to the Readers’ Restaurants page back in Feb, so it was an unbelievable coincidence that it was published, wait for it, on the day we returned to the Dartmoor Inn. Sadly, we couldn’t get a Guardian down in the south-west that day, so we never knew about it till today. It’s odd that we always buy a Guardian on Saturdays, apart from that one day. But never mind, it’s a great little review.

I just posted my Hold It Up For Ridicule spoof news item on the Queen’s trip to the US. I had fun making those track names up.

I screwed up a track on Friction Fiction 40. I had the wrong artist. I must get back and sort it out, apologise, re-record it, whatever. I don’t plan to restart FF till I get some writing projects under way. Speaking of which, it’s time to get that writing project under way.

Simon Cowell Headlines Ripe for Spoof

Aahhhh, that’s the life. This is me looking pale in Sardinia last year, and that will be me in Cornwall next week.

The 1500 word synopsis is going well but not exactly flying off the screen. I just don’t have the motivation. After staring at the sky, I saw a Simon Cowell headline in The Sun. The argument seemed so to be about nothing and devised to create a headline about nothing. So I had to write and record a Hold It Up For Ridicule spoof. I loved the titles of the programmes pitched against each other in the ratings war.

I went back to look at my Digg and Reddit accounts. No Diggs, No Reddits on Friction Ficton from ages ago. So I started Digging and Redditing. What a joke. I messed up by submitting the URL for my Digital UK spoof, and giving the description for Pete Doherty. So I buried it thinking I could correct it. Wrong. It’s still there, buried with the wrong description. In the time it was available, it got two Diggs, one wise guy saying “No it isn’t” to the description. I now wish I hadn’t buried it, as I can’t unbury it. So, I took the Digg and Reddit buttons and started posting them all over the blog instead. I’m going to put some on this blog next. What a chore. Bye for now, xxx

Anxiety and the Common Barking Man

I just emailed a friend about a visit I made a week ago with Caroline, just before the VT killing, to Stourhead, a beautiful National Trust park near here. We saw a really strange incident. We were trekking round the grounds, and we reached the remote King Alfred’s Tower where there’s a Victorian folly, a car park, quite a few people about, an ice cream van, some trees, and not much else.

On the track back from the tower, a couple piled out of a car in front of us with the woman holding a camera presumably filming. The man ran up to some bushes with her following, ripped a branch off with his bare hands, and then pretended it was a machine gun, gunning her down, which was noisy and a bit mad. But then he hit her with the branch so it really hurt, and she cried but carried on filming. He looked seriously glassy-eyed and out of control.

Now, just before that, as we’d approached the place, I’d just been saying that beauty spots made me a little anxious generally. It’s that, ‘someone’s walked over my grave’ feeling, a tiny frisson of something I don’t like, anxiety. I was walking a friend’s dog once, when suddenly it wouldn’t cross an open field. While I was trying to persuade it to cross, a horse came galloping across the field with its saddle slipped. It crossed a horribly busy road, a near miss for several motorists. It was amazing that the dog had picked up the anxiety of the out-of-control animal from distance.

I wrote it in a story, Nobody Told the Horse, and it was published by Surprising Stories. The link’s at the top in My Fiction as well. We were talking about mad people that evening in the pub. Everyone had a mad person story. We didn’t know that on the Tuesday, everybody across the world would be exchanging stories. They still are here. I just went into the town, and I heard people still talking about “the guy in America” a week on.

Today, I trod on my head set and broke it. It’s not a tragedy, but when added together with online ordering of inkjet cartridges not getting authorisation from my credit card company, and someone who made an offer for the house on Friday pulling out today, it was one too many little things.

I’m onto the synopsis for my second novel. 1500 words. I’m also plugging Friction Fiction 39, which is really why I’m here to upload the show. This week I’m playing music from Plastic Dave, Zero Pilot, Brett Dennen, Dust, and Camille Miller, and reading some of my poems from What You Will See: Barking, Role Play and Role Models. There’s a new one too.

Next thing is, there are some new people coming to view the bungalow tomorrow, so now I’m running around tidying up again.

Enjoy the show.

Up Late and No Time

Me, Pete and Terry, 3/4 of Beatlejuice on 2005 looking strange singing harmonies on Nowhere Man in Rick’s studio Reading. You can see we’re dead ringer for John, Paul, and George. Happy days.

I woke up late due to some kind of sleep inducing lurg kicking in, and now it seems the day has gone. Well I never had a plan anyway other than dragging myself up the hill to the gym.

I added Wes and Gethan to my blogroll. Please take a look.

And as I was emailing Wes, I wondered whether many people knew about Google Adsense. Some people don’t like it because they can’t control the content of ads that appears on their website which is a good reason not to use it. However, it’s the only ad I know that gives dollars per clicks. Amazon and Linkshare only give dollars for sales. I’m not to allowed to click it myself, as Google police can find out. But give it a click. It’s the kind of exposure Google and the advertisers would want.

Welcome Back Friction Fiction Fourth Series

My long satirical piece Margaret Thatcher Speaks at the Gdansk Shipyard, 1988 is now up on Hold It Up For Ridicule. I wanted to do something a lot more thoughtful than usual, and I was inspired by the Gracenesta blog which I don’t even think comes out of the UK. They certainly don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

This allows me to start writing the first script for series four of Friction Fiction. There’s lots of great music about as usual, and I found plenty to fit in with the theme of my poems from the 90s, which is the usual displacement, and alienation.

I can hear Ireland having a torrid time against the Aussies on TV. Even so, I’m going to press on with Friction Fiction and watch the cricket later on the highlights.

New Satirical Post

I just posted a satirical news item in Hold It Up For Ridicule, my satirical blog which I hope is funny and balanced. Check out My Satire above. I’ve been seeing and hearing news and web reports all morning about the CBI’s instruction to “target sickies”. Their timing coincides with the first day back to work in a short week after a record breaking warm Easter. No doubt a clever HR consultant told the CBI what anybody could tell them for free, that people take a day off when the weather’s good and the cricket World Cup is on TV, ie a sickie. I wondered about mixing the item with last year’s item about Fat Cat pay, and came up with the instruction to target fat cats. My satire is about holding up for ridicule the people who make the news, in this case the CBI made and timed the news cynically. Many people will equate the cost of sickies to their own low pay. I’m saying what the media could never say. It’s worth going that extra step and asking myself if it could ever be The News. Of course not. It’s pointless to do something that can be said, because that’s not satire. The original item needed some perspective. All the figures are accurate. I would love it if someone calculated the exact cost to British industry of fat cats, and came back to say it’s actually less than the cost of sickies, thus missing the point entirely. I was aware when doing this, that fat cats are no longer this year’s news. Maybe they’ve all gone away now, and boardroom pay is back to normal. Cough, splutter!!

Tony Blair in the Wilderness

Here’s a picture of me at Sandbanks on the south coast last week. The weather was just starting to take shape for a great Easter. But Easter is over, and I just posted another chapter of my satirical comedy thriller, Tony Blair: the Wilderness Years at Blogster. I started it in 2000, I finished it in 2003, and I published it in 2005. Check out My Reviews above, and My Novel.

Easter and The Riff 1

It’s the warmest Easter in the UK I can remember, which is great for being outdoors, but not so great for sitting at the PC blogging. Here’s my second guitar. It’s a Hohner Fender 65 strat copy from 1981, almost certainly made in Fender’s Japan factory, but I’d have to dismantle it to find the Fender factory mark inside the heel. It plays better than lots of real Fenders I’ve played. It suits Ernie Ball hybrid slinky 9s, and I use it to record as it’s punchier than the Taylor. Here it is on episode 1 of my songwriting podcast, The Riff, which I started last month.

The Centre of Attention

How do I start a blog about the things I do? Maybe, “Hi, I’m a writer…” Maybe not. The header has links to my satire, and fiction, plus some up-to-date photos, and reviews. This is my new central web site in the form of a blog, and a podcast. You will be able to listen to my podcast shows Friction Fiction and The Riff here. I’m writing fiction, podcasting, singing, songwriting and writing poetry all in different places. This is the first time I’ve tried to pull all my fans together on one site, iandsmith.com. So that’s me, Ian D Smith, or Ian Duncan Smith, which is a mildly amusing name to UK citizens because it’s the same name as the failed ex-leader of the Conservative Party, Iain Duncan Smith, who went out in a blaze of apathy with a terrible speech, “The quiet man just turned up the volume.” Maybe I could change my name to avoid any comparison. But that’s politics. I have three Myspace sites Friction Fiction for the podcast show, The Hexyl Circle and Shedworks for my songs. I blog my Novel at Blogster, and I send out two podcast shows at Libsyn, Friction Fiction, indie Myspace music, and songwriting The Riff. My poetry collection, What You Will See, is available at Gatto Publising. Please look around. I’m writing a second novel, so I’ll be talking about that here. I’m writing songs, so I’ll be publishing those here too. What else? Well, wait and see.

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