His explanation was That when his neighbour came to the door The man attacked him with a phone. So he defended himself With a karate chop— That was how his neighbour’s phone Came to be smashed on the floor. At the station CID pushed him round the cells With a truncheon in his ribs, Took [...]
Filed under: Poem | Leave a Comment »
I’ve moved on. Take a look at my main blog at iandsmith.com. My story The Day I Asked Blake Morrison If He Raced Pigeons has been cherry-picked at ABC Tales. My story Last Place in the Labour Party Treasure Hunt is at Eclectica.
Filed under: Satire | 1 Comment »
On the theme of keeping up appearances, Paul Morley’s programme on BBC Four, All the Young Dudes: Pop and Fashion showed how pop has changed. It was a surprise to learn that Slade really did select their own clothes and made themselves up. Why should I be surprised? Because I’ve accepted that pop is heavily [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
It’s the worst advice ever. I just read about Google changing their big G favicon. That’s the microscopic 16×16 box that appears before the URL and next to the subscription box if you use feed reading software like Netvibes. My blog didn’t have a favicon, so I thought about setting one up. It’s all about [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
What You Will See is Billy breaking out of his breeze block bunker With a bust of Bloodaxe. You’ll see the concrete Of his tenement crack to reveal corroded filigree – Billy collapses in the chill air with a crick in the neck. You’ll see dockland dredgers crossing dry land. Yet Norse dialect survives behind [...]
Filed under: Podcasting, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
I’m a fan. Jeff’s a great presenter on Sky Sports and looks like he’s been doing the big clock for years. Hardly any chance for Rachel to show she can do sums with those boffins around but she certainly can. I also like Elbow and Portishead CDs picked up in the Zavvi clearout. I’m learning [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: countdown, elbow, portishead, radiohead | 3 Comments »
If I dreamed of the work of another writer, I would give up. The imagination of another writer in the sub-conscious is the end of originality. You can’t take things out of your subconscious like you can with an Amazon shopping basket. Nature abhors a vacuum, except in a Daily Mail hack’s head.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Writing | Leave a Comment »
An Earring Duplicator that can replicate a missing earring by simply inserting the surviving earring needs inventing right now. I also need a Domestic Item Locator that allows me to tag household items such as scissors, sellotape, car keys, potato peelers, remotes so I can find them using GPS. In my proposed countdown format TV [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
Here’s a link to a book about Ben Goldacre and the Bad Science brigade. I fell out with Dr Ben Goldacre last year, the Guardian’s Bad Science columnist. I sent him some stuff on the claims made about Statins, the miracle health cure that causes terrible depression. He was rude and dismissive. So I’m not [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: bad_science, ben_goldacre, cultural_dwarfs, martin_j_walker, quackbusters | Leave a Comment »
TV drama documentaries are usually lacking in drama, but Antiques Rogue Show about Shaun Greenhalgh the Bolton faker didn’t need any drama. The story is incredible: During the trial his barrister said: “Mr Greenhalgh discovered many years ago he has no style of his own. He had one outlook and that was his garden shed. [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: art, forgery | Leave a Comment »
